Managing Climate Change Anxiety and Eco-Emotions: How to talk to kids about Climate Change
Managing Eco-Emotions and Climate Anxiety
By Megan Kennedy-Woodard
It's hard to watch the news, scroll through Instagram or listen to the radio without hearing or seeing something related to climate change. We recognise the impact of climate change on the earth in the forms of seeing polar bears starve, hurricanes hit new veracity, picnics in February- snow storms in June and fires raging, but we are also becoming increasingly aware of the impact on our mental wellbeing. As psychologists, we are noting the rise in the presentation of eco, or climate emotions, often referred to as ‘eco-anxiety’ or ‘climate anxiety’. It can be a crippling worry that can manifest in the forms of difficulty in concentrating, difficulty in being present, panic attacks, depression, low-mood, or insomnia. These eco-emtoions can leave us feeling overwhelmed, detached, hopeless, grieving, angry and paralysed, all of which stop us from taking necessary action to mobilise against climate change. But wait- there is good news: the solution to climate anxiety is climate action.
You are likely reading this because, for you, it’s partly or mostly about managing this anxiety for children. It is fundamentally important to recognise in all of this is that our children are living through this too- undeniably, they will experience the impact much more than we will. They are discussing the climate on the playground and in the classroom, they are seeing it in the headlines and on social media and may silently be struggling or openly vocalising the stress and worry it can provoke. Children receive a lot of information, some of which may be inaccurate, or misrepresented, or they may feel that they don’t understand it at all. Some children may feel they don’t have enough information. They may feel confused or that they have no agency on the subject. If we don’t manage conversations about climate change with our children, this could lead to deeper angst and misunderstanding about their power and role in their future. They may not have a sense that small changes can make big differences and it is our job to dispell this myth.
As parents, we are in the best position to equip our children with knowledgable information, support and leads for positive actions. Having open, well-informed, but contained conversations about climate change and its effects with our kids will help to create a space where they are not paralysed by fear, anger, and disempowerment but can instead be enthused by motivation and optimism. It is our duty to support them to repair the errors of the past so that there is hope for their future. Teaching children resilience, self-belief and creativity in a time of uncertainty is an important, if not essential, life-skill in the context of climate change and beyond and how we engage them can make a huge difference in the battle against climate change.
We Must Identify Our Own Anxiety and Purpose as Adults in the Climate of Change
We do all we can to protect our children. We buy them organic food, we teach them to look both ways before crossing the street, we take them to Baby Einstein class and stare at them when they sleep to make sure they are still breathing. We just want them to be okay. There is a desperateness to get something done. You aren’t alone. I have felt this desperateness too, but I have taught myself to change the thought of ‘desperateness’ to ‘determination’, which changes my emotions. This impacts my actions, giving me more productive and positive results. We must educate ourselves emotionally, steel ourselves with robust mechanisms of inner honesty, awareness, and resilience in order to find our role in this cause. We can then teach this to our children.
So what can help us? Knowledge is protection. Positive action is protection. Perseverance is protection. Community is protection. Determination is protection. Many parents are determined and this, I believe is going to create the generation of change. This can be the start of ‘Climate Change for the Better’. Remember, the solution to climate anxiety is climate action.
Easy Ways to Tune in to Your Own Eco-Emotions:
Talk about it. Isolation is one of the key weapons of anxiety and depression. Connecting with others is hugely protective. Connecting with ones self is also hugely protective. If you are someone who journals, great, if you aren’t I invite you to give it a try or at least give yourself some mental time and space to process this. Give yourself a minimum of 15 minutes and commit to writing this entire time. I would encourage you to have something restorative planned upon completion of this exercise so that you can decompress, as recognition of these big emotions may feel quite heavy. Here are a few questions to get you going. I really encourage you not to feel like there is a ‘right’ answer but to be honest with yourself about your experience.
How do I feel about the impact of climate change?
How do I feel about my children living in uncertain times?
What sensations in my body do I experience when I think about Climate Change?
What are you grateful for right now?
What has worked in the past to overcome problems you have experienced as a family?
How do you enjoy time together?
What is my purpose in this?
Protective and Productive
Again for context, my relationship and engagement with climate change is something I need to continuously monitor because it is fluid. My commitment and concern is not. As parents, we must recognise our own emotions in order to efficiently support our children. I want to emphasise that this can change. It can wax and wane and develop and then you may find yourself diving in, hitting pause, coming back- it’s an ongoing relationship and experience. But by keeping this understanding of where we are in check, is more protective and productive for you and your kids and in the long term will keep you more resilient within your resonance and action.
Getting Help When Eco-Emotions Become Too Much
If you are noticing that emotions are debilitating you from living your day-to-day life, you may need to think about getting professional or peer support. If you are experiencing anxiety attack, insomnia, depression and grief, speaking with a psychologist can be hugely helpful in managing negative thinking. If you are experiencing moderate or low levels of these negative emotions, speaking with others, creating communities and getting out in to nature can be restorative to your mental wellbeing. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Climate grief is real.
Protective Actions
Engage with local grassroots communities
Make changes at home. Use technology! (Some great apps worth googling: Olio Ducky Climate Challenge Ecosia THRIFT+)
Volunteer for conservation projects
Give yourself ‘Mental Breaks’ where you don’t engage in social media or news about climate change. Overloading yourself with bad news may send you into a space of resonant inaction.
How to Open the Subject of Climate Change with Your Children
You know your child better than anyone. You will understand how they like to be approached, over dinner, on a walk, this may mean speaking to siblings separately, as their age and personalities may dictate what’s most appropriate. The important thing is that you feel comfortable answering questions based on facts and that you are honest if you don’t know the answer. It is okay to pause, review and come back to the conversation after you have done your research. We suggest doing this separately, as Google can produce anxiety-provoking headline-grabbers that may not be useful information for your children (at the end of this book, there will be a list of age appropriate resources).
A Time and A Place to Talk About Climate Change
Think about the timing of your conversation. Right before bed or an exam is probably not ideal, and this may seem obvious, but sometimes, as parents, when there is a topic we are aching to discuss, we may find ourselves blurting out at inappropriate times. Make sure it is a time that you are distraction free and there is time room after the chat for them to ‘check back in’ about thoughts that may develop post-chat. This will likely be a rolling conversation the same way that the Sex Talk may be. It’s always okay to postpone the conversation if you feel it isn’t an appropriate time, as long as you acknowledge their concerns or questions and ensure that you ‘come back to this’ when it is a better time.
Think about locations. I was driving with my daughter the other day and I could see her physically wriggly and worried. After asking her what was up, and getting nowhere, I pulled over and said, “We need to get this worry out of the car”. We needed to change the scene and she needed focus. We plonked ourselves down on the nearest garden wall and she found a snail shell. We started collecting them and I gently asked her what she thought was going on. If I felt her pulling away, I would redirect to another snail shell, or suggest we order them in size. She was able to talk about her feelings without feeling pressure or urgency.”
Pay attention to the vibes you are giving off. Timing and location is important for us as well. Kids do pick up on our stress and anxieties. When we are talking about Climate Change, we need to feel we are in a space and time that we feel calm and supportive. I felt the tension rising in the car and we simply relocated. Be flexible. If the conversation isn’t picked up by them, don’t push and try again another time.
Climate Conversation Key Tips
Ensure you are in an emotionally safe space yourself.
Keep it short and simple.
It is important that you feel confident in your definition of Climate Change and it’s impact.
Don’t over explain, if you feel yourself waffling, take a breath. It’s a great time to demonstrate to your kids the importance of thinking before you speak and reflecting on your own feelings and thoughts.
Give them space to think and speak.
Manage the effects of your own environment. Be completely focused and have time after (physically and mentally) for follow-up conversations and questions.
If you don’t know, be honest and come back to the topic.
Talk about how you feel but don’t put your emotions on your kids.
Understand What Kids Know About Climate Change
Best to begin by getting a sense of what information they already have. Ask them open questions:
‘What have you heard about global warming or climate change?’
‘Who talks to you about this?’
‘How do you feel about this happening?’
‘How do your friends feel about climate change?”
“Is anyone doing anything about it?”
“What could we as a family be doing about it?”
Moving the Conversation From Climate Change Anxiety Towards Constructive Action
They have the information, now what? Kids want to have an impact but they need to know the facts-not so many that they despair, but now they need to put their energy towards productive impactful projects.
I can see that a certain level of threat drives action. I am not saying that we underwrite the pivotal moment we are in, but we need our children to develop the skills in order to make up their own minds about how they feel. I believe that when a child sees a starving polar bear, their reaction will be similar to ours; sadness, then anger, then- and this is the important bit, a drive towards action, the ‘What can we do?’ moment. But it is their process to have.
Be sensitive to cues that they may be finding the conversation difficult. It is a difficult conversation. Are they fidgeting, dis-engaging? This is when having a side project is helpful. If they are drawing, give the conversation a pause and ask them about a picture. If they are older, ask them what their friends think about it to remove some of the pressure from them. Then gently guide them back to the topic.
Walk them through the process by using yourself as an example:
“So now that we know about Climate change, what do you think we as a family can do about it? I know what I am going to start doing:”
“I see that Global Warming is a real problem.”
“It makes me feel angry and a bit scared because I want you to have a safe environment”
“I have decided that I will use this emotion to make a difference.”
“I am not going to take as many flights. I have switched the energy company to a green energy company. I understand that the ost sustainable fashion is the clothes I own so I am not going to shop ‘fast fashion’
Takeaways:
Threat drives action
Be sensitive to cues that they may be finding the conversation difficult.
Don’t be afraid to hit pause and come back to the conversation.
Demonstrate your own commitment to change
Kids want to have an impact
Kids need sincere support to have a productive impactful projects.
